If you’ve ever met Kane, you know why we call him HurriKane. He is one of the most energetic, spirited, insane, hilarious little people I know. Most of the time his "crazy" is just exhausting, but other times, it’s incredibly frustrating. He’s the kid who loves to be the star, loves the laughs and the applause (I’m telling you, watch for him on The Voice Season 300!), and will randomly break into dance with his shirt pulled over his face just to hear the other kids giggle at him…and then will do it 30 more times!
Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, Tim and I always talked about how our ONE job in life with him was to raise a nice person. A good person. The kid that can stand up for himself and COULD beat you up, but wouldn’t. The kid who would stick up for another kid being bullied. The kid who includes others without being forced to. The kid that everyone liked just because he was nice and didn’t ever do anything mean to others. We didn’t care if he was the best athlete, the smartest, the most popular…just a nice, GOOD person. We never wanted him to be bullied or worse, BE the bully! We wanted him to be confident, but not cocky. We didn’t know how you achieve that other than just trying really hard to instill manners, consequences, and obviously-- leading by example.
Every now and then, my friends who see him the most and know what a lunatic he is, will say things like, “Yes, he’s wild, but he’s sweet.” It’s true. He says please and thank you. He hugs our dog. He says goodbye to his school friends individually by name at the end of each day. He hugs his teachers goodbye when I pick him up. He plays a little gentler with the little girls than the little boys and for the most part, he does share...most part. Hearing it from others always makes me feel like we must be doing something right.
I struggle A LOT with whether or not I’m a good mom. Do I work too much between my full-time job that includes travel and my work with the blog? Do I go out too many evenings a week sometimes? Does he watch too much TV? Should I not have given him those treats yesterday and the day before? Did I yell too much today? I’m sure most of these questions are things that you all ask yourselves regularly too.
Last Friday, I picked Kane up at school after work. A little later than I normally do (guilt!) because I had to run a few errands. When I got him, he did his farewell tour of his classroom and then we were leaving the building. As we walked past the Director’s office, she stopped me. She wanted to tell me something. I was on pins and needles. Did he hit someone? Bite someone? Tell the teacher to shut up? (all of these scenarios had occurred in the past and I thought we had put the kabosh on them!) Apparently, a new little boy came into his classroom that day and was very shy. He was only going to be there for a few hours for a trial. Kane was the first one to greet him and the only one to invite him to “Come on in and play with us!” He also apparently ran around the playground with him and they were fast friends. I literally almost started crying with pride! She thanked him and he sang “You’re Welcome” from Moana. She also thanked me which resonated more than she could ever know!
My husband and I must have told him how proud we were of him 100 times that evening. I shared the story with a few close friends and the most incredible text that I received was this:
“He’s crazy, but he is such a good boy. That’s what really matters. You’re making a good person. You’re a good mom.”
So, if you think you are failing because, well, life...you aren’t. We are all doing our best and our kids are listening! And, in case no one told you today—“You’re a good mom!”